So The Thing Is....

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by Amymel86, Dec 15, 2010.

  1. Amymel86

    Amymel86

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    Hello Ladies,

    Here's the thing.....

    I have been (used to be??...not sure) best friends with a girl I went to school with called Laura. when I first got engaged (5 years agao), I asked her to be bridesmaid.

    We haven't been in touch as much as we should be since I moved away to go to Uni (both of our faults, not just her) so I kind of assumed she would have forgotten all about the bridesmaid thing.

    Throughout the whole 3 years of me being at Uni i saw here once when i came home one summer (she did mention the bridesmaid thing then but I kind of just let it go).

    It has now been 2 years since I graduated (haven't seen Laura since that Summer whilst I was still a student). I have just made the leap and texted her yesterday to see how she is and we have arranged to meet up in the New Year.

    I'm just worried now that she is still assuming that she is going to be a bridesmaid (I haven't completely decided that she isn't going to be BUT we haven't seen eachother/spoken for 4 years!!!!!).

    I was just wondering if anyone else would assume that they were still going to be bridesmaid if they were in Laura's position???

    Oh yea, and also she got engaged at the begining of this year - I have not yet met the fella and no mention of me being a bridesmaid (am I being bratty here?)

    I don't know...there is just this ...akwardness between us now! :)

    BTW - Vicky (my MOH) has been a friend since going to school together and we have had no trouble keeping in touch whilst I was away at Uni (and now she has moved away from our hometown - no probs there either). She even drove from Bournemouth to Huddersfield (5/6 hour drive) to come and see me (not that I am saying Laura should of done that.....just....you know......somehing... oh *humph*...I don't know either.....I'm being such a brat aren't i???)
     
    Amymel86, Dec 15, 2010
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  2. Amymel86

    iPrincess26

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    Your not being a brat at all! Things have changed and you have obviously both moved on, 5 yrs is a long time and ( I may be very wrong here, so please don't hate me if I am) but like you said your MOH has kept in touch through everything that has happened and you feel awkward with this other girl, how about you see how you feel once you meet up again, you may both pick up where you left off - but if you decide you don't want her as a bridesmaid anymore - then come back to us all and i'm sure we could think of something?! Sorry I know that is a crap response - I am still thinking it through so will try and get back to you, in the mean time I would see if the meeting up happens and if it does see how you feel then, she doesn't need a response about it when you meet.

    Sorry seem to have wittered on and given no real help.

    :)
     
    iPrincess26, Dec 15, 2010
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  3. Amymel86

    MrsBrown

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    Oh bloomin heck!! Try not to worry, if she does bring it up you will just have to explain that as you havent been in regular contact that you werent expecting her to be a bridesmaid. You could say your only have a few bridesmaids and feel if you extended the invite to her, then it could upset other friends??? Dont feel obliged. I have friends who have drifted apart, and as nice as they are there is no way I would want them to be bridesmaids!!

    I suspect that she may also feel awkward, wondering if you will suspect to be bridesmaid too!! Maybe after you have discussed it, all the awkwardness will cease??

    Will she be invited to the wedding?? to be honest if I had seen a friend so infreuently, it would be an invite to the evening do! Now I am being tough ha ha


    Also, are you from Hudds?? Just being nosy, I am from hudds but currently living in bradford.
     
    MrsBrown, Dec 15, 2010
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  4. Amymel86

    Amymel86

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    Thanks for the advice ladies, I think I am going to have bite the bullet and talk it over with her!

    Not sure about (if she is all ok with not being abridesmaid etc) what kind of invite I should extend to her (I would have to invite her h2b and I don't even know him!) - numbers are tight as it is!!

    Lol no I don't live in hudd - but I did study there!! Its great if ur a student!! Much cheaper than living down south!! :)
     
    Amymel86, Dec 15, 2010
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  5. Amymel86

    Becky

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    Hmmmm that's tricky. Hopefully she will have forgotten all about it (or quite sensibly realised that it's not appropriate). However if this is not the case, I guess the best thing to do is just to gently explain that you have picked your bridesmaids since you drifted apart and hope that she understands.

    Let us know how it goes!!

    P.S. I agree about better to go to uni up North - I lived in Dorchester until I was 18 and went to uni here in Manchester. It was so good I decided to stay! :)
     
    Becky, Dec 15, 2010
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  6. Amymel86

    MrsBrown

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    Lol no I don't live in hudd - but I did study there!! Its great if ur a student!! Much cheaper than living down south!! :)
    [/quote]

    I used to go out in Hudds and feel very old being surrounded by all the students in the pubs ha ha!!!
     
    MrsBrown, Dec 15, 2010
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  7. Amymel86

    Anon_SA

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    Same! I also lived down south before moving to Manchester when I was 18. I lived in Somerset - Weston-super-Mare no less! I can't imagine living anywhere else than Manchester for a long time!
     
    Anon_SA, Dec 16, 2010
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  8. Amymel86

    MrsC2Be

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    As a home-grown Northern Monkey, this makes me want to shout "in your face The South" really loud :)
     
    MrsC2Be, Dec 16, 2010
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  9. Amymel86

    poppleminster

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    I'm a southerner and now a south-west southerner but I did live in Manchester for a while when i worked for BT. Does this mean I can be an honour northerner? I ate chip balms and everything!



    As for the bridesmaid stuff, i'd not expect it to still be binding having not been in contact for so long. If she does say anything just say that as she'd not been in your life so much, you assumed she'd not want to do it anymore. Life changes, relationships and friendships change and sometimes stuff like this causes issues as the initial conversation was based on you not being so long out of contact. Don't feel bad, just try to relax and go to meet her with an open mind, I doubt she'll ask.

    xxx
     
    poppleminster, Dec 16, 2010
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  10. Amymel86

    MrsC2Be

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    Yes Popple, you can be an honourary member of the cool club aka being from t'north :)
     
    MrsC2Be, Dec 16, 2010
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  11. Amymel86

    poppleminster

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    Great. I'm off to grab a shellsuit and pinch some hub caps LOL. That's what a friend of mine told me life was like up north - I went to Manchester christmas eve one night as a work emergency and stayed 2 years. I can honestly say I didn't see a single shell suit. Lots of anoraks but no shell suits. I really miss it for the culture. Down here if you want to buy the ingredients to make a chinese or a curry then you pay a nut in the specialist section of sainsburys but up there you just pop along to the chinese or asian supermarkets. Asian sweetshops were amazing, I was never brave enough to try them but they looked fantastic. I loved honey and yellowbean rolls fresh from the chinese bakery at the end of George St where I worked.

    I'm such a foodie!
     
    poppleminster, Dec 16, 2010
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  12. Amymel86

    Amymel86

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    lol! I wasn't intending this discussion to dissolve into some sort of North/South divide debarkle! :) (In which i am very much on the fence as I was born down south and live in Bournemouth - any more south and you'd be in the English Channel! But I spent 3 years in Hudd and loved it and my dad is a Yorkshireman who spent alot of his youth in Liverpool!):lol:

    Anywho....thank you so much for the advice and as alot of you have said I will just have to see how it goes when we meet up. i was just wanting to check that it wasn't unreasonable for me to assume she wouldn't be a bridesmaid anymore??? Maybe she is wondering if I'm wanting her to be enthusiastic about being a bridesmaid and she would agree that we have drifted apart?? (did that make sense?? :) )
     
    Amymel86, Dec 17, 2010
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  13. Amymel86

    Becky

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    Oops sorry for dragging it off topic :)

    In answer to your questions, I definitely do not think it is unreasonable to assume she won't be a bridesmaid. Let us know how it goes when you meet up :)
     
    Becky, Dec 19, 2010
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