Slight Rant - Ceremony Plans Now Ruined Grrrrrrr

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by Helen, Jun 11, 2010.

  1. Helen

    Helen

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    Just need to say grrrrrrrrrrrrrr and arghhhhhhhh :angry:

    We decided to get married in Canada, we have pretty much got everything sorted for that, then we were going to have a reception back here in the UK. Thought it would be the best option for us to go abroad, for lots of reasons apart from me and oh wanting to, we really wanted an outdoor ceremony etc and oh has always wanted to visit Canada.

    Anyways I'm busy booking things and then I came across a statement in a tourist guide I picked up last time I was in Canada. In the list of requirements for entry to Canada it says you are not allowed in if you have any criminal convictions including driving under the influence. Now I'm not from a criminal family :lol: but my mil2b does have a drink driving conviction so this means she now can't come. I'm really furious and quite upset and now I don't know what to do. I can't go ahead and invite my parents when his can't come because of this. :rolleyes: He still really wants to go to Canada for the wedding, we have talked loads about alternatives and getting married in the UK and having the honeymoon in Canada but neither of us are really keen on this and we can't find anwhere we like that is in our budget. Grrrrrr so angry. What makes it even worse for me is I'm having to do all the work trying to find out if there is any possibility if she can come and I really really hate drink driving and yet I'm trying to stand up for her. My first boyfriend was killed by someone who was driving drunk and it just makes me soooo mad.

    Sorry ranted on a bit there. I've not been able to talk about this with anyone else so needed to get it off my chest a bit!
     
    Helen, Jun 11, 2010
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  2. Helen

    ilovepink1984

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    Oh no, what a bummer! Poor thing. Like you I hate drink driving and people who feel its ok to do this (no offence to you MIL2B!). Also, sorry to hear about your first bf, what a thing to experience. However, I also feel that it is a bit extreme to ban someone entry into a country for drink driving, especially if its only the once and happened a while ago.

    I don't know what advice to give you. Have you talked to your MIL2b about the situation yet and explained you still want to go and still want to invite your parents. If not, I think you need to do this - or get H2B to do it, especially as he is the one who still really wants to get married in Canada. Explain you just can't afford to do it over here. Maybe she will understand your dilemma and help you sort out the problem ie.find out if there is ANY possible way to get here there etc. I don't think its fair that you should have to put your wedding on hold/change your wedding because of this or feel like you can't have your parents there, altho I understand this is a dffficult situation and could cause upset. Perhaps you could have a blessing when you get back if you decide to go ahead - gives you a chance to wear the dress again too! :angry:

    Hope you can get something sorted out xxx
     
    ilovepink1984, Jun 11, 2010
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  3. Helen

    iPrincess26

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    I agree with ilovepink1984 and not sure what else to add, except have you just read the rule, or have you spoken to Canada (not sure who - embassy/immigration?) and checked with them - it might be if it was a while ago that they let her in.

    Hope you get things sorted soon. Sorry i'm not more help. Big Hugs xx
     
    iPrincess26, Jun 11, 2010
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  4. Helen

    Helen

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    I'm trying to find out more info and have been going round in circles with it :angry: I'm sooo annoyed about it.

    I've not spoken to mil2b about it but oh has. As a consequence she is now really upset about it all and keeps saying she has ruined our wedding. She is not very well anyway so this is really topping everything off for her and I feel bad about it even though it is not in any way my fault!

    There was always the chance she wouldn't be well enough to come, she is waiting for a replacement knee and can't walk at all but we were all hoping she would be getting it done in the next few weeks and would all be sorted by next year. Now I don't know what to do at all grrrr. Thanks for letting me rant though :rolleyes:
     
    Helen, Jun 11, 2010
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  5. Helen

    ilovepink1984

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    Bless, sounds like shes a lovely lady and has just made a mistake. Must be hard for her if shes housebound and now this. Was she happy for you to go ahead to Canada if her knee was too bad? Maybe she will be ok without going because of this? Hope her knee is sorted out soon. My aunt is having hers replaced next week. Shes really scared. Shes only 50 but there is none of knee left! Likely she will need 3 replacements in her lifetime.

    Hope it all gets sorted and keep us updated with your progress. Big hugs xxx
     
    ilovepink1984, Jun 11, 2010
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  6. Helen

    juliak

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    Wow, what a difficult situation, so sorry that it's happened!
    I know it's not ideal but would she be understanding about staying behind if need be? I think ilovepink could be on the right track with the home blessing after, it wouldn't have to be a huge affair maybe just close family, as she said it gives you an excuse to wear your dress again and means that your MIL2b (slap on her wrist for past misdemeanours!) can still celebrate your marriage.
    Keep us updated!
    It may sound selfishand and sorry if it does but it is YOUR day and if both of you have your heart set on Canada I think you should go for it, you don't want to risk any regrets in the future.
    Ju xxx
     
    juliak, Jun 11, 2010
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  7. Helen

    iPrincess26

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    Hi Helen

    I've just been having a look for you and found this page on the citizenship and immigration canada website and hope it might help, there are things you can apply for so that you MIL2b should still be able to enter, have attached the link below:

    Canada Entry

    Hope this helps xx
     
    iPrincess26, Jun 11, 2010
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  8. Helen

    iPrincess26

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    iPrincess26, Jun 11, 2010
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  9. Helen

    Mrsg2b2011

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    Aahh hun you poor thing!!! I really hope it gets sorted for you. I think what iprincess has posted is really good & defo an option to look to? Well done iprincess & really hope it all works out ok for you Helen. big hugs xxxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jun 11, 2010
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  10. Helen

    poppleminster

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    Big huggly. looks like all will be ok if you check out those links from princess. As long as her conviction is spent i.e she served her penalty and isn't still under restrictions, all will be fine. :angry: xxxx
     
    poppleminster, Jun 11, 2010
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  11. Helen

    Helen

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    Thank you sooo much for all your kind words has made me fell loads better about it all :D

    I've been trying to track down someone who will give me an answer but I just get passed from one department to another, very fustrating! Unfortunately her conviction is recent so she doesn't fall into the spent convictions category (stupid woman!). I'm not willing to wait the extra few years til she falls in that category either, can't decide whether that is selfish of me, maybe we should just put the whole thing back :rolleyes:

    I feel too bad asking my parents but not his, I know it will hurt him not having them there. Equally I don't want to not invite my parents. :lol:

    We did discuss having a 'fake wedding' for them once we were back but oh was not at all keen. I'll come up with something I'm sure! :angry:
     
    Helen, Jun 11, 2010
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  12. Helen

    juliak

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    I don't think you're being selfish at all. I appreciate that it will be difficult for you if your parents don't come and your OH if his mum can't come but please remember how this situation arose...your MIL2b dong an illegal thing that could have been life threatening for her and/or others. I may have had a diferent opinion if it was just down to her ill health but I also am hugely against drink driving!
     
    juliak, Jun 11, 2010
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  13. Helen

    juliak

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    Oh am so sorry. Have just read that post back and I realise that it's very negative, something that you really don't need right now!
    I really hope you and your OH can sort something out. I wish you the best of luck and will try and think of something more positive and practical.
    Ju x
     
    juliak, Jun 11, 2010
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  14. Helen

    Becky

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    I suppose in some ways it's better that you found out now rather than when she was trying to board the plane... however that doesn't really help solve the problem!

    I really hope you can come up with an alternative that both you and your H2B will enjoy - if you had your heart set on a wedding abroad could you try a different country and then have your honeymoon in Canada?
     
    Becky, Jun 11, 2010
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  15. Helen

    poppleminster

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    How about... the wedding in Canada as planned and a blessing or something similar over here? What does H2b say about it all?

    It' your wedding, your dream, your life. If your dream is Canada then i'd recommend sticking with that plan. If your dream is flexible then maybe look at other countries?

    oooh just had a thought... to get a marriage recognised legally in the UK you have to take out a special license don't you? If you don't do that - maybe you can still get married out there but not have it recognised over here leaving you free to get married here as well. Two weddings! It can't count as bigamy if it' the same person. Sounds daft but it might be perfectly possible! I had a friend married abroad but the marriage was not recognised in law as she'd not taken a relevant license.
     
    poppleminster, Jun 11, 2010
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  16. Helen

    Mrsg2b2011

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    Aaah hun I don't think you are selfish at all. This is how you have dreamed of your day & its not your fault this has happened. You poor thing I just send you big hugs as not sure what to advise but a blessing/ renewal of vows is an option.
    However one thing I will say is on the other forum a bride put on there that she was told that when they had their blessing she had to enter with her husband. She couldn't enter with her dad. Not sure if this is just a church rule or a rule across the board but just bear that in mind when discussing your options too incase you wanted your dad to give you away here too if you were to go down that road xxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jun 12, 2010
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