Needing Some Support

Discussion in 'Pregnancy, Babies and Children' started by MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 17, 2010.

  1. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    My 8 month old daughter will not go down to sleep on her own, she either has to be fed to sleep and cuddled. The cuddling is hard work as she is getting big and heavy now and cause a few shoulder and back problems. We were so exhausted after she went down at 3am and got up at 6am we put her down asleep the next night and she woke up an hour later we checked there was nothing wrong she just didnt want to go to sleep on her own, it got to the pont when we just left her to cry it out we checked on her every three or five minutes to make sure she was okay and she was. It took a good 20 or 30 minutes before she gave in. The last couple of night she has done the same and gone off in 10 mins.


    I know not everyone agrees with this way of getting a baby to sleep but really have tried EVERYTHING with no success.


    Tonight i am here on my own and i cant stand her crying i feel so bad about letting her cry and just need some encouragement or stories of how other have coped.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 17, 2010
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  2. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    Hiya.

    Been there my lovely and I abso;lutely know how guilty it makes you feel to just let the baby cry. In the long run, it does no damage. You're simply teaching her it's time for bed, not attention and her only way of disputing this is to cry.

    The experts recommend you let the baby cry for ten minutes, pop in, don't touch her or speak but so she knows you are there then go again and repeat. I was awful with Poppy because she'd cry for hours but I did learn that after a week of hard graft she started accepting bedtime and things were easier all round but you do have to go through the week of hell to get to that stage.

    Please don't worry, what you are experiencing is absolutely normal, you're an awesome mum and you care loads or you wouldn't even have put the post on here. I can't make the crying stop but I can offer a cyber-smile, a hug and reassurance that you're not doing anything wrong.

    xxxx
     
    poppleminster, Jul 17, 2010
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  3. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    thanks popple it is horrible listening to her crying, i have just changed her nappy (she has really bad nappy rash at the moment so a wet nappy kills her) and put her back down just hope she goes to sleep soon.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 17, 2010
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  4. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    I think I should have had shares in sudocrem when Poppy was in nappies. One day she got the tub and ate a whole pot. I have noooooo idea how he did it without throwing up and it was over everything, chairs, carpet, table. I'd been in the same room but she'd never crawled before and I was reading as she'd been happily gurgling in her playmat then the next minute across the room! She was sooooo quiet about it too, she's a right pickle!
     
    poppleminster, Jul 17, 2010
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  5. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    Worth remembering a cry is a babys only method of communication if you are out of reach. It's not always pain or anything bad, sometimes just boredom and attention seeking.

    Thinking of you lots :)
     
    poppleminster, Jul 17, 2010
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  6. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    thanks you have really helped keep me sane tonight, it took over an hour and a half but she is asleep.


    I know she understands it is bedtime, as soon as i start to move towards the cot to put her down she will get clingy and as soon as she is in the cot she will start cry.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 17, 2010
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  7. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Mrsg2b2011

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    Mmm sudocream...this is what happened when my son found a pot.......[​IMG]
    see how pleased he looks with himself!!!! ha. Have you tried metanium for Abi's nappy rash? I swear by it it about £3 or £4 in boots or tesco but a little goes a long way! Its in a yellow tube.

    As for the crying yes I wouldn't worry you are doing the right thing! I know alot of people are against it but it is hard when you are actually in that situation. Thigs will get better as she realises its bedtime. Also around 8months I believe they start to suffer from seperation anxiety (if I am wrong please feel free to correct me) and again at 18months!!!
    :angry:lol. So it may be just a case of riding it out. Good luck hun & well done you for persavering (sorry can't spell) tonight when hubby is out!! xxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jul 17, 2010
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  8. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    awwwwwwww mrsg that is so cute. One of the slightly older babies at a nursery i used to work got hold of a pot and started using it as hair gel his hair smelt of sudocrem for ages.

    She has been getting better at the sep anxiety, i was dreading that phrase but she seemed to have a really bad week and then get over it slightly.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 17, 2010
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  9. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    Morning.. Yawn, afternoon even. Loving the photo! There must be something nutritious in that stuff! I'd never heard of it before having a child and couldn't live without it now, I use it for all sorts of things - it's brill to tick on your forehead and ears if dying your hair to avoid the dreaded ring marks round your face and eewok ears!
     
    poppleminster, Jul 18, 2010
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  10. MrsBoucher2B2012

    juliak

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    Completely fine to let her cry hon, although it is hard to hear. As long as you know she's fed, has a clean nappy and you know she's not ill I really wouldn't worry! You sound like a fantastic mum and it's completely normal to worry, kids are born to guilt trip us i'm sure!!!!!

    Brill photo by the way, he looks soooo cute!
     
    juliak, Jul 18, 2010
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  11. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Mrsg2b2011

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    Thanks guys he is my little chunky monkey ha!!! xxx

    GDani how is it going tonight petal? xxxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jul 18, 2010
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  12. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    it was a bit easier tonight as hubby is home and she was really tired but that didnt stop her from screaming for almost and hour.

    Ju i think your right kids really are just expensive guilt trips.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 18, 2010
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  13. MrsBoucher2B2012

    juliak

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    Oh yeah, forgot the expensive part!
     
    juliak, Jul 18, 2010
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  14. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    i could not help laughing when hubby told me what his friend had said last night.
    He said he wouldnt mind another three kids because they are that expensive[​IMG], he also said they have ONLY spent about £3k on their little girl so far not including things like nappies, formula and food, she is 10 months old[​IMG][​IMG]

    It might be just me but i think that is a lot in 10 months.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 18, 2010
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  15. MrsBoucher2B2012

    juliak

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    £3000....10 months?!?!?! Bloody hell, that's a lot!
     
    juliak, Jul 18, 2010
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  16. MrsBoucher2B2012

    ilovepink1984

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    How do you spend that much on a baby? I don't think I've spent that much on both of mine - Evie is 3 years, 7 months - and thats including 3 pushchairs, nappies, formula, clothes although not the stuff like Cots, wardrobes, beds etc. And he doesn't think thats expensive either? I wish!!

    Hope Abi is settling better now. As above, its completely fine to let her cry as long as you know shes fine in herself. Alfie went through a stage where he went down to bed fine but woke about midnight and wouldn't settle and screamed thenplace down for hours - not good when he shares with Evie! But we changed him, checked his temperature etc etc and then let him cry - he eventually fell back to sleep exhauseted. Took about 4 nights and hes not done it since. That was about 2 months ago so he was older than Abi, about 14 months.

    Thankfully, neither of my 2 have ever gone through the clingy, separation anxiety phase. Both are happy to go to other people and always have been and Evie chats their ears off. She waltzs into preschool without saying goodbye whilst loads of the other kids are screaming!
     
    ilovepink1984, Jul 19, 2010
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  17. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    Well tonight is a week since we started, everything i have read about let babies cry to sleep say it should get easier after 7-10 days so hopefully it will. It only took her 30 minutes to settle herself last night so there is hope.

    It is silly how much people are willing to spend on babies, the mountain of flashy electronic fashionable toys his daughter had for Christmas was scary she was only 4 months old.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 20, 2010
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  18. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Mrsg2b2011

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    Glad it is getting better Dani! Can't believe how much your friend has spent already on his baby???!!!??? Is he crazy that is way too much!! I defo haven't spent that on Ryan in 18 months & don't plan to any time soon either. As much as I love him I just don't have money to burn. My turn for a screaming baby tonight! he has finally gone off but had to keep going upstairs to reassure him as he is still poorly today :) . His temp is back to normal though which is good just wait for the antibiotics to get rid of it now bless him. No wait he is not asleep he has started crying again. Wouldn't mind but Mark has gone out tonight & ONLY just thought to phone to see how Ryan is even though he knows he has been bad all day!!! :) Men!!!!! xxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jul 20, 2010
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  19. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    Awwwwwww hun.
    Its not nice when babies are ill, its hard on them and us. Hopefully he will shift it soon and he will causing all sorts of trouble before you know it. Abi has been a handful today as well, i think her top teeth are on their way. I dont like giving her calpol but she was in so much pain bless her it was the only thing that worked.

    Update on the self settling. Tonight we had only 20minutes max of screaming before she gave up, she has woken up but she cried once and havent heard a peep out of her since. Which is great as i had to make cupcakes for hubby to take to work tomorrow as it is his last day, me and Abi are then stuck with him until August when he starts his new job.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jul 20, 2010
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  20. MrsBoucher2B2012

    ilovepink1984

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    Glad Abi is beginning to settle quickly for you, she'll sooon go to bed easily and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Babies can be strange creatures but so adorable with it! Hope you got the cupcakes made- mmmmm! - and enjoy the time with h2b. You'll miss him when he starts work again, however annoying he may get!! My h2b finsihes work on Friday for 6 weeks - he'll soon be getting under my feet!!

    Hope Ryan is better today. Was also my turn for a poorly little man last night. Bizarrely, I was worried about Evie when they went to bed as she had a raging temperature and looked pale. Calpol perked her up a bit and shes woken up very lively despite lack of sleep. Alfie was his usual self last testerday but woke up at 12am and was sick EVERYWHERE! Yuck. He was shaking and really pale. Woke Evie up with the screaming. Changed him and the bed then he was promptly sick again. Gave him a drink of water and he went back to sleep about 1.30am and woke up at 6am right as rain!! Same can't be said for the rest of us. I didn't get to sleep until at least 2.30am listening out for Alfie and awake at 6! The kids were bathed and dressed by 7! I'm running on empty at the mo!! xxx
     
    ilovepink1984, Jul 21, 2010
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