Needing A Bit Of Sympathy

Discussion in 'Planning your Wedding' started by bridetobe200910, Jun 24, 2010.

  1. bridetobe200910

    bridetobe200910

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    I know people cope with lots more but i am so down - we went out for lunch for H2bs birthday on Tuesday and had a lovely time including a drink where we are getting married but when we got home we had been burgled.

    Only possessions that are insured but I feel physically sick all the time.

    They stole my laptop which has all my wedding stationary i was designing myself. I have some copies but the font does not work on our rubbish home computer and all my pics were on there of me and my dress and I hate the thought of someone looking at them.

    Now with less than 3 months to go until the wedding I have to cope with a petrified 11 year old, little sleep and all the insurance claim to worry about.

    How can people be so unkind as to tip someone else's life upide down.

    Sorry like I say there are far worse things that could happen but I just need a bit of company - H2B away tonight so no chance of any sleep.
     
    bridetobe200910, Jun 24, 2010
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  2. bridetobe200910

    juliak

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    oh, bride, I am so, so sorry to hear that. There's nothing I can say to make you feel better and I can't imagine the stress and anxiety you must be feeling right now.
    Burglars make me absolutely sick, like you say insurance does cover possessions but I totally understand how you feel about your laptop and the pics etc.
    I'm so sorry that your 11 year old has been affected so badly too, these people are b******s and have no feeling whatsoever. I don't know if there's anything I can do, but I am thinking of you during this difficult time.
    Lots of love and hugs, Ju xxx
     
    juliak, Jun 24, 2010
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  3. bridetobe200910

    Mrs T2B (Kel)

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    oh [​IMG] bridetobe200910

    That's so terrible.. as Juliek says I can't say anything to make you feel any better.
    It makes me so angry that people just think they that take other people's hard earned valuables [​IMG] The insurance companys will (hopefully) replace the items, but not the personal bits like photos, documents, sentimental feelings associated with the items.

    I do hope you manage to get some sleep, and that your 11 y/o recovers from the shock

    x
     
    Mrs T2B (Kel), Jun 24, 2010
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  4. bridetobe200910

    bridetobe200910

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    Thank you for your kind words.

    Silly really cos it isn't the end of the world - but I was so emotional before all this happened. No idea what I am going to be like on the dya of the wedding when an advert on tv or a soppy story can start me off!

    I can't believe I have turned into such a girl!

    I am having a small glass of red - i know its a school night - but it may help me drift off.

    Thanks all.

    Ruth x
     
    bridetobe200910, Jun 24, 2010
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  5. bridetobe200910

    MrsMay2011

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    You poor poor thing, I want to weep for you. having someone force their way into your home, regardless of what they take is so invasive and traumatic and upsetting. *hug*.
    Putting it behind you is easier said than done, so take some time out to be upset and angry then, regroup and don't let the bastards get you down.
    It's horribly upsetting that someone has your laptop, and I don't know if this will make you feel better, but whoever stole it won't be bothering looking through it, they just want to sell it and convert it to money. The content will probably be wiped without ever getting looked at.
    And, it doesn't seem like it now I know, but you've got your template and you WILL find a way of getting your invitations done. Did you know you can download fonts off t'internet if your pc doesn't have them, for free?

    Lastly try to hold onto the fact that, although they have turned your life upside down, and it feels personal it wasn't a personal attack on you. They were after valuable items, not to attack you and your family. That that they don't care about the fact that you & your child are now scared makes them despicable human beings, but they were not after you, they were after 'stuff'.

    Sorry, thats not massively constructive, but I really hope you begin to feel better xxx
     
    MrsMay2011, Jun 24, 2010
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  6. bridetobe200910

    juliak

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    MrsMay, that's a really valuable point, it wasn't a personal attack it was just for 'stuff' that sells, doesn't make it easier I know.
    Bride, it isn't the end of the world, I agree, but it is a huge, life affecting, stressful, scary and anxious time for your family!
    Don't be sorry for being a 'girl', I can cry at most things too, I think my record for crying was 16 times whilst watching Armageddon...... don't laugh!
    Have a large glass of wine and concentrate on your upcoming wedding and other positive things that are coming your way, you are justified in being angry and hugely upset, but unfortunately you can't change it!
    It's a cliche but time WILL heal and it'll get easier. Love Juxxx
     
    juliak, Jun 24, 2010
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  7. bridetobe200910

    poppleminster

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    Hello! Wedding are stressfull anyway without adding the burglary as well. Sounds like you are coping admirably so stop berating yourself thinking your not (said in my finest stern headmistressy type voice).

    The intrusion into your life is a shock, shock causes different reactions in different people but all are valid and all are legitimate response to trauma sooo... what we need to do is try and not give the little cretins too much of your energy and zap you into a different mode. All the time you are home, you're reminded of what's happened so if you can, treat yourself and your child to a walk out somewhere open and lovely and do silly things like pull faces at each other in places where you should be old enough to know better and drink lemonade and see who can burp the loudest... anything that make you smile and laugh as both of those things release endorphins that trigger seratonin (silly stuff in your brain that makes you happy). I don't recommend you do the burping thing at any other time... but just the once it can be excused!

    I am probably famous for saying this by now but stress is temporary, The situation you are in is temporary. You cannot change what happens to you in life but you can control how you react to things that happen - if that makes sense. You can't just put on a 'stiff British upper lip' as that is fake but you can do little things that help make it easier.

    Firstly. Focusing on anything but what's happened. After your time out of the house, you agree a time limit of five or ten minutes per day at a set time to worry about what's happened. Every time you think about it and get upset, remind yourself it's not your worry time yet so tell yourelf to think of something happy instead. Sound daft but this works. You are training your brain to deal with the emotions in one chunk per day rather than allowing it to take control of your day. It's your mind, how dare negative things invade it?! Think space invaders - the game. Bad things make you feel crap so you zap them but unlike the game, you have the laser of awesomeness that zaps them all into tiny bits :)

    The inurance stuff is a bind but again is temporary. You've already done really well, admitting you feel down is the key stage to getting through this. You are perfectly rational to feel down. We'd all be the same. Now we just need to get you back on track with this wedding to that wonderful man of yours and taking a deep breath and working through this.

    We're all around on here to keep you company. My Ben is on nights and I never sleep well when he's away so i'll be around to drive you nuts for a bit longer yet :blink:

    Big huggly. This stress wont last. Promise xx
     
    poppleminster, Jun 24, 2010
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  8. bridetobe200910

    poppleminster

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    Oh and please excuse any missing letter S's. My stupid keyboard lost the S button so now the key sticks!
     
    poppleminster, Jun 24, 2010
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  9. bridetobe200910

    Mrsg2b2011 Guest

    Oh brideto be I am so sorry!!! What an awful thing to happen. Don't worry about turning into a girl I think you have been very strong I think I would have fallen to pieces if that was me!!! Have a LARGE glass of red tonight, infact you can have a few as its FRIDAY!!!!
    Big hugglies hunny, if you need any help with anything you know where we are xxx
     
    Mrsg2b2011, Jun 25, 2010
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  10. bridetobe200910

    ilovepink1984

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    Oh no, I'm so sorry you have been out through this. You've been given some great advice already, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and sending you big cyber hugs xxx Don't let it get you down, whoever has done this just wanted 'stuff' for money, not a personal attack on you - I know thats easier said then done though. Hope your 11 year old is coping ok. I was burgled when I was about the same age and it really shook me up - the fact they must have been watching the house to know we were out really played on my mind for a long time. Nobody knew I felt like this until I broke down in front of my class teacher - so make sure you talk to him/her about any worried she may have in case she not voicing them. I'm sure you already have but I know I was scared I sounded silly at that age and didn't want to tell anyone. xxx
     
    ilovepink1984, Jun 25, 2010
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  11. bridetobe200910

    juliak

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    Hi bridetobe, just wondering how you're getting on and how your 11 y/o is coping? Thinking of you, Ju xxx
     
    juliak, Jun 25, 2010
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