My Poor H2B!

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by MrsStobe813, Aug 4, 2011.

  1. MrsStobe813

    MrsStobe813

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    Hey all,
    Tis me, the whiney one again, though this time it's my poor H2B that's fallen vic to me. I have been trying to encourage him to go to the dentist for some time now but he is absolutely scared witless. He and I both know he needs a fair amount of work done but I am trying to encourage him to get it done before the big day. He is an only child and lost his Mum when he was 3, his Dad is also scared of the dentist os never took him or really helped him conquer his oral hygiene, last time he went to the dentist they tore him apart because of it but it isn't his fault as he's now psychologically wired that all dentists are going to victimise him.

    I don't want him to get the repair work he needs done for me. I love him as he is and count my blessings that I'm with him, he's a handsome young man with a heart of gold and I'm very lucky to be his future bride. However, what I don't want to happen is us to get married and him hate the photographs because of his teeth. It's easy enough to say he won't regret it now, but you live with the photographs and I don't want him to hate them. In addition to that, I want him healthy, I want to get him "fixed up" now to avoid some more serious procedures later on (for example, a simple amalgam filling now than root canal therapy later). I've promised to be by his side through it all, hell, I'll even hold his hand in the treatment room if need be! But I just feel so horrible when I constantly nag him, I also had a gnawing thought earlier that he may need so much treatment they want to put him under general anaesthetic to fix up his teeth. He knows I want to lose weight for the big ay, so I myself am on a fiancé-induced diet and fitness regime!

    Am I doing the right thing? Or should I back off? I feel so cruel at the moment!

    Thanks all

    MrsStobe813 x
     
    MrsStobe813, Aug 4, 2011
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  2. MrsStobe813

    MrsBrown

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    Ohhhhhhh.. i cant actually read your post becuase I too am scared of dentists! Any article on dentists, anything about dentists i have to avoid.. i cant watch my family because he is a dentist!!!! Once i am there I am fine, just the thought of going and getting assessed! I know I need some treatment but I just cant...

    Where do you live.. will you come hold my hand??


    My hubbie has tried gentle persuasion too and I actually know I need to go becuase of health not just to look nice.. app gum disease can effect fertility (hubbie found an article with a hope that I would go- we have bene tring a while) at that stage I looked up dentists but that was as far as I went!!

    Maybe you could try the health tact?

    I also had a friend who was so scared, that she was referred to the hospital and they sedated her. I dont need that, because once through door I am fine (strange i know) but if he really cant cope their are options.

    Good luck
     
    MrsBrown, Aug 4, 2011
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  3. MrsStobe813

    MrsStobe813

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    I put it on hold for AGES! I had a tiny hole an it just wasn't getting better. I went and saw a new one, scared out of my wits, and she numbed half of my face and she was so, so gentle! I have to go back for a fluoride tratment tomorrow but I'm not the least bit scared now!

    I'm a Bristol girl, so probably completely no use to you! x


     
    MrsStobe813, Aug 4, 2011
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  4. MrsStobe813

    MrsBrown

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    I'm a Bristol girl, so probably completely no use to you! x

    Oh well I am not going then... chuckles... will element of relieve/fear/panic!
     
    MrsBrown, Aug 5, 2011
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  5. MrsStobe813

    Becky Administrator

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    Eek that sounds tricky! As you've said, it really is worth getting these things sorted out sooner rather than later. It sounds like sedation might help if he doesn't calm down when he's in there, and if he doesn't like the sound of the drill maybe take along an iPod? Getting him there in the first place will probably be the trickiest part - the big question is whether to use the carrot or the stick. What works best on him?

    Not that I want to scare you, but bad dental hygiene can also increase your likelihood of getting heart disease. There was a study which found that people who flossed were less prone to it - I thought this was because if they floss it was a sign that they are more likely to take better care of their health generally, but actually it has to do with a bacteria which lurks under your gums! If you floss you get rid of it, and your risk of heart disease drops. Weird huh?!
     
    Becky, Aug 5, 2011
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  6. MrsStobe813

    MrsStobe813

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    I've heard all kinds of reasons for good dental hygiene! What I didn't know was that my high intake of sugar-free squash and apples was the cause of my cavities! I didn't even bother chasing up for more than my regular appointments until I found eating an apple became a tender experience. A trip to the dentist revealed a TINY cavity on the nexk of my left canine, within 15 minutes my dentist had numbed half of my face and filled it! SHe's superb! They're even giving me 4 weeks free fluorie treatments to strengthen my front teeth because I've weekened them with my high intake of fruit! Just when you think you do the right thing!

    I know sedation costs extra, I also know it's something he won't go near as it "toys with your brain". I put him on the spot last night when he said his school photos were really toothy and asked him if he doesn't like his school photos does he want our wedding photos to look like that. I was told that everyboy knows him as a toothy old fool. Yes, they do, but I also remember the handsome young man I danced with at my 18th who has since let his health deteriorate, and I want hm to be the same man I share my first dance with as a wife. Not that he won't be, in mind, but I want him to be in body, too. Seems I have some work to do, hey ho..

    MrsStobe813 x
     
    MrsStobe813, Aug 6, 2011
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  7. MrsStobe813

    Helen

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    I lost a corner from one of my back teeth last weekend. As I've not been moved house long I am still registered with my old dentist (300 mile round trip). I am booked in for this week anyway for a check up and I'm hoping he will mend it for me then. I tried last week to get a local dentist but can't get an NHS one anywhere and a private one can't see me until the 22nd, so hoping my dentist will sort it for me this week. Annoyingly last night the other corner came off, so I'm hoping the rest will stay in until Friday and dentist time.

    All my point really is that you need to allow a lot of time to find a dentist and get an appointment for him, unless you are really lucky in your area. Everywhere I have lived ahs had huge waiting lists to see NHS dentists, years in some cases.

    Even going on the NHS is quite costly if you need a lot of work done. Some private dentists are specialists in people with phobias, if you can afford it try one of those, the experience is nothing like the NHS dentist. A private dentist will normally cost about £60-70 for an initial assessment and check up/xrays etc and then they will give a written quote for any remedial work they recommend, you don't have to have the work done with them if you can't afford it. Also most offer finance plans if you do need either a lot of work or expensive work.

    Just something to consider.
     
    Helen, Aug 7, 2011
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  8. MrsStobe813

    Becky Administrator

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    Sorry to hear about your tooth Helen!
     
    Becky, Aug 7, 2011
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  9. MrsStobe813

    jesspett

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    Oh dear. Sounds terrible! I continuously tell my other half to go to the dentist. I think it's a more common phobia than realised. The longer it's left the worst it's going to get.. It's not the best experience in the world.
     
    jesspett, Jan 13, 2014
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