Jealous sister

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Harriet, Aug 29, 2016.

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Should I speak to her? Do I uninvited her?

  1. Ignore it and focus on your wedding

    100.0%
  2. Speak to her but regardless of the outcome she should still be invited

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Speak to her and if she kicks off then uninvited her. You only get married once and it's your day

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. Uninvite her and calmly ezplain your reasons

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Harriet

    Harriet

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    I recently got engaged whilst on holiday with my partner. I'm not big on weddings or dragging things out and we booked it whilst we were away. It's just a simple small but (I think) beautiful wedding. When we returned home we told our families the date we were getting married which is really soon.. next month to be precise.

    I sensed my sister was off immediately and I text her to make sure everything was ok. We've had a weird relationship over the years we are either best friends or worst enemies however for the past year we have been inseparable. She sent me a very long angry text kicking off about why I didn't tell her sooner, I'd obviously been keeping things from her and that I didn't care about her etc. My sister has been engaged for about 5 years now and is constantly looking at weddings and talking about her wedding but nothing has ever been booked and she kicked off about me doing it first when she was "first in line".

    We made up after she eventually apologised and I thought everything was ok.. she was being bossy saying dont have this or dont have that which as she wants them for her wedding (which still isnt booked) and for the sake of a peaceful life i readily agreed. I could tell she still wasnt thrilled about my day as she never asks about, sulked about transport and still talks about her wedding all the time.

    However a mutual friend told me this weekend that she is still very annoyed about it and has said that now it's a competition, her wedding will be bigger, better and "grander" than mine. She said she is going to steal my ideas and her one goal is to beat my wedding. She said she doesn't know why I'm getting married as i apparently don't even love my fiancé (we split up last year and got back together in January this year - we've been together 5 years in total). I spoke to our older sister about this who also confirmed this is true.

    I want her to have HER perfect wedding, I don't understand why she wants to 'top' my wedding rather than just planning a wedding that's perfect for her. Mine is perfect for me, it shouldn't be about trying to outdo someone but just having a great day doing whatever it is that you enjoy or like.

    What should I do? I don't know how to bring it up without her kicking off or throwing a massive strop but at the same time I want to know why she's acting like this and I don't want her at my wedding if that's the attitude she is going to have. I want people at my wedding who are happy for me as I would be for her!
     
    Harriet, Aug 29, 2016
    #1
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  2. Harriet

    Becky Administrator

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    Oh my goodness, how awful! Sounds like you definitely have the right attitude here, my suggestion would be just to ignore her and rise above it. If all her wedding is to her is a chance to out-do her sister, then she deserves nothing but pity because she must have major issues with being insecure.
     
    Becky, Sep 2, 2016
    #2
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