It Is My Wedding And I Will Wear What I Want

Discussion in 'Planning your Wedding' started by MrsBoucher2B2012, May 30, 2011.

  1. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    I am getting very sick of my mums attitude towards anything to do with the wedding, i ask her to do something for example i wanted to do my own flowers so i asked her to speak to a neighbour as he has an amazing hydrangea bush its huge but he tends to chop it right back every couple of year and then the following year it does not produce many flowers, anyway he has always been great to me and helped me a lot so i asked my mum to speak to him so he didnt chop the bush this year so we could use the flowers next year she tells me she has spoken to him and he would love to supply the flowers then a week later when i go down to visit he is chopping the bush i asked him about it and he had no idea what i was on about. That is just one example there are many.

    Each time i show her a dress i like she goes its not you/its okay i guess but its you that has to wear not me. it is now getting on my nerves with just over a year left i might end up killing her soon.

    I have chosen my dress and it is a Justine Alexander 8465 in ivory and am going to put the bridesmaids in cream/ivory maxi dress
    i am past caring what people will think of my having a tea-length dress and my bridesmaids in maxi dresses it is my wedding not theirs and not my mothers.

    Sorry had to vent she is driving me insane.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, May 30, 2011
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  2. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    hahaha poor you. I recommend letting her know how it feels. When she has an idea, rubbish it and mention that it's her idea not yours so fine if she likes it... do the same with her clothes and anything she asks you about. Perhaps then she'll think more before being manipulative emotionally!

    She wants the best for you - her best not yours so she probably never asked the flower man as it's not her idea of what you should have. Rather than upset you by saying that, she simply didn't tell him so next year you would have no choice but to use flowers from elsewhere... it's manipulative but not ill-meaning if that makes sense.

    Best way to cope is not trust her with anything important and take everything she says with a major pinch of salt. Either that or do as I first suggested but she might not talk to you for a while LOL xxxx
     
    poppleminster, May 30, 2011
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  3. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Becky

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    Good for you! :D

    I had a similar situation with my mum (although not quite so bad) and you just have to stand your ground. It'll be tough but worth it - we're here every time you need to vent!!
     
    Becky, May 30, 2011
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  4. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Becky

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    P.S. If you want some reassurance that your dress looks amazing in a church wedding, click here :D
     
    Becky, May 30, 2011
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  5. MrsBoucher2B2012

    ElmoGrace

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    I know the feeling of the pressure from mum. Just grin and bear her but make sure the all the major decisions are made by you. My mum is the same with decisions and my ideas of what I like, but it comes from grandma having planned her wedding, so she is seeing my wedding as her chance to plan! I have found that letting her have some input - ie giving her free range over something specific (in my case the cake) - has reduced the stress and disagreements that were occurring.
     
    ElmoGrace, May 30, 2011
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  6. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    ooooh just clicked on the link Becky gave and realised the dress you have chosen is from my fave wedding blog ever! I adore that womans wedding pics. Go for it, it's gorgeous! xxxx
     
    poppleminster, May 30, 2011
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  7. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    i searched high and low earlier and found that blog as, its looks amazing so glad i have found the dress.

    Thank you all for the support, my mother is very controlling it has taken nearly 2 years since i moved out for her to go from ringing and texting me every hour (i wish i was being dramatic) to every otherday she only did that because i told her point blank she is annoying me by waking my daughter who was a newborn at the time.

    I have always taken everything she says with a large pinch of salt. I am in charge of her outfit for my wedding so that will be a fun shopping trip not.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, May 30, 2011
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  8. MrsBoucher2B2012

    sparkledream

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    Oh my godness your dress is lovely. just ignore her, i'm sure you will look stunning
     
    sparkledream, May 30, 2011
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  9. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsC2Be

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    I love that dress, it's the perfect opportunity to show off a gorgeous pair of shoes :D
     
    MrsC2Be, May 30, 2011
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  10. MrsBoucher2B2012

    poppleminster

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    I dare you to make some really daft suggestions just for giggles :D
     
    poppleminster, May 30, 2011
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  11. MrsBoucher2B2012

    juliak

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    As you know I adore your dress! I think you need to just tell your mum that she's upsetting you, she probably thinks she's being helpful! xx
     
    juliak, May 30, 2011
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  12. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    Nah telling her just makes her worse i have tried a couple of times now. She wanted to wear a black suit to the wedding so i have stepped in and told her i want to treat her to an outfit for birthday which only a few weeks before the wedding
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, May 30, 2011
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  13. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBrown

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    I feel for you!!!!! I think you are def not alone in having a mum with strong opinions!! My mum was ok with the dress but completly drove me mad regarding my hair as she felt I should have it down, in the end she admitted it look lovely the way I had it, so I am certain on the day your Mum will love every bit of your wedding!! I think they just forget its not their choices, after all I wouldnt wear my Mum's normal choice of clothes so why am i going to start on my wedding!!!!


    The other thing I found was my mum saw it in lots of little bits and couldnt see the whole picture of how it would all fit together, I did remind her she had green bridesmaid dresses for older bridesmaids, orange for younger one, with pink flowers!!!!(40 years ago I add) I should start a thread on how times have changed and show you some pics!!

    Go with your choice (that dress is amazing) or like popplemaster said, tell her you have completley changed your mind and want to wear a lime green trouser suit with orange flowers in your hair, purple shoes and you might dye your hair blue for the day... just so it is truly unique!!!
     
    MrsBrown, Jun 3, 2011
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  14. MrsBoucher2B2012

    Becky

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    I would love to see her reaction to hearing that!! :D
     
    Becky, Jun 3, 2011
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  15. MrsBoucher2B2012

    alfamillie

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    Stunning, beautiful, I love it! Show us some pics when you next try it on Dani! x
     
    alfamillie, Jun 24, 2011
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  16. MrsBoucher2B2012

    alfamillie

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    My Mum hasn't been too bad but did say something like"aren't you a bit past that?" when I mentioned having a veil!! Again, she didn't mean to be mean but in their day it was a symbol of modesty and chastity or something - now it's more of a fashion accessory that allows you to add some tiara bling :D . I don't care what anyone says. I have waited this long to find the man I want to marry and I will wear what I like!
     
    alfamillie, Jun 24, 2011
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  17. MrsBoucher2B2012

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    she would have a fit if i told i was going to wear that. i am tempted to do it but i might pop my stitches if i laugh too much.

    I wont be trying the dress on again until the end of July start of August but i will take plenty of pictures i promise.
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, Jun 24, 2011
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  18. MrsBoucher2B2012

    clarey1271

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    its ur wedding hun! dnt listen 2 anyone have it ur way if thats what u want then thats what u get loves x x x
     
    clarey1271, Jul 15, 2011
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