I'm back to planning!

Discussion in 'Planning your Wedding' started by nikster1987, Sep 5, 2015.

  1. nikster1987

    nikster1987

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    Hi everyone!

    Gosh, its been a while since I've been on here.
    I put wedding planning to the side for a while because of finances and just got out of the habit of logging on and chatting with the lovely people here. We've been trying for a baby, with no success yet unfortunately :-( but I'm happy to say that although I've been browsing around we are hoping to start planning properly in the coming months!

    Having a bit of trouble though with my mom. I don't want to start booking and be married in a month or two, to me its just too much of a rush. I'd like to work at an easy pace and enjoy it, but my moms complaining that in her words "I'm not waiting that long." Yes, we've been together a decade and have been engaged for 9 years but I just want the time to focus on planning and not rush. Shes says we've waited long enough. Its getting really annoying but she won't take the hint.

    I promise to log on more :)
    Speak soon! X
     
    nikster1987, Sep 5, 2015
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  2. nikster1987

    Becky Administrator

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    Great to see you back! :) I know what you mean about wanting to take things slowly, it can be really stressful otherwise. What is it with mums causing chaos with weddings? Honestly, they always seem to cause problems when it comes to wedding planning. I hope she calms down and leaves you to it!!
     
    Becky, Sep 7, 2015
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  3. nikster1987

    nikster1987

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    Its great to be back, Becky...I've really missed it! :) Honestly, its really getting annoying now. I don't have the heart to tell her to shut up. I'm the oldest of 3 and shes excited. She keeps sending me things to show me but its all what she would have wanted when she got married. Shes insistent she wants to 'make' me somehting for the wedding but whatever she shows me it will take over what me and H2B want. She doesn't like any wedding dress I show her, she doesn't like the topper I've found for our cake...shes got a problem with everything. My H2B is getting very irritated by it too. I have to keep calming him down so he doesn't open his mouth...If he did I'm sure there would be hell because he won't hold back.

    I know its the saying that its the brides special day (and its what she keeps saying to me when I say I want to find things that H2B will like too) but its not just my day, its his too.

    I want it to be OUR day not our day with everything ruled by my mom.
     
    nikster1987, Sep 9, 2015
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  4. nikster1987

    Becky Administrator

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    Exactly! I really wish that MOBs would understand that! Is she paying for the wedding or are you guys covering the costs? I guess it's more difficult when parents pay because they have earned a right to have a say in what happens, but when the bride and groom are paying for it themselves then parents should butt out!! :D
     
    Becky, Sep 11, 2015
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  5. nikster1987

    martinnat9

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    Welcome back Nikki, glad to see your wedding is still on track. I'm sure you know this, but your mum's attitude comes from a good place, she thinks she knows what's best for you but she probably doesn't realise how much trouble it's causing. The worst she can do is disapprove of your choices; what's important is that you make the day about what you and your husband want, not what she wants. Focus on making your special day right by you, and I'm sure your mother will come around, it's just such a stressful time and clashes are bound to occur.

    Best of luck getting everything the way you want it!
     
    martinnat9, Sep 14, 2015
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  6. nikster1987

    nikster1987

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    My H2B and I are paying for it all ourself. Its something we both wanted to do. I feel that if I had money from my parents for it then we wouldn't get a say in what we had. She's quite controlling and hasn't really liked the fact that I don't do everything she says anymore. I'm 28 in a few weeks time so obviously I'm not a child anymore.
    I'm sure she means well but she won't take no for an answer. .
    Thanks for listening to my rant :D
     
    nikster1987, Sep 29, 2015
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    Becky likes this.
  7. nikster1987

    Becky Administrator

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    Perhaps give her a task to do if she gets really bad - perhaps if she's got something to focus on then she'll leave you alone when it comes to everything else?
     
    Becky, Oct 1, 2015
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