Hen Do

Discussion in 'Stag and Hen Parties' started by MrsLetts2Be, Oct 15, 2010.

  1. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsLetts2Be

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    In your hen do are you payinf for yourselves or are your hens all chipping in?
    My BM's and girls are plannign a suprise one and wont tell me where or what we doing.
    But they want me to put by £80 which personally i think is a lot of money seeing as were doing our wedding for a budget.

    Anyone got any suggestions?

    x
     
    MrsLetts2Be, Oct 15, 2010
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  2. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsBrown

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    Hi, I had a surprise hen do too! I did give clear instructions that they must not make it expensive, becuase I didnt want anyone to feel like they could nt afford! They had to put in £50 but they wouldnt let me pay, I really did want to pay something but was told no. Its really really hard! Maybe you could explain that you cant afford £80 and your not expecting them to pay for you and are really grateful but is there anyway they can get the cost down???

    to be honest 1/2 the people on my hen do were already married and I paid to go on theirs and they didnt pay. sorry really not been much help!
     
    MrsBrown, Oct 15, 2010
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  3. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsLetts2Be

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    Hi, It does help, I've explained that a lot of my friends and me wont be able to pay out that much for the one night, and that i'd rather have everyone there and go to a cheap nightclub rather than no one turn up due to cash flow.
    Especially as were gettig married at a hotel in the counrty where people are paying for their own rooms to stay over at £80 per room too.

    I hope that we can get it down xx
     
    MrsLetts2Be, Oct 15, 2010
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  4. MrsLetts2Be

    ilovepink1984

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    Mine was a surprise too. We had a limo, meal, comedy club and then a few of us stayed out clubbing - this wasn't part of the iterinary! I wasn't told to take any money and the cost of everything else was split between them - but it was only about £50 for everything each - including chipping in for my share. I took some money for club entry and drinks but just kept getting drinks shoved at me and noone would accept any money!

    Just keep reinforcing the fact that people, including yourself, can't afford that much on one night out and you don't want them not to turn up because of it. Hopefully the cost will come down for you and whatever you end up doing you'll have lots of fun xxx
     
    ilovepink1984, Oct 15, 2010
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  5. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsLetts2Be

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    Thats what i told them, that if it meant that people wasnt there i'd have a party at home!
    I dont want anyone to feel out of pocket because they have to come along to my hen do, and i dont want poeple to not come because of it.
    I would of course pay for myself i just honestly if im honest thought i wouldnt have too, is that wrong of me?
    xx
     
    MrsLetts2Be, Oct 15, 2010
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  6. MrsLetts2Be

    ilovepink1984

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    No, I don't think its wrong, especially as its a surprise. I think its a bit cheeky to tell you to save money for something you have no idea about!! I didnt' expect to pay for the activities my sister had planned - like the comedy club (which wasn't expensive) but I was more than happy to pay for my food and drink as this was personal choice - what If I had ordered champagne and they were paying - can you imagine the looks on their faces!! Just wasn't allowed to!

    How many people have you invited? That £80 wouldn't be much spread out between quite a few people? But then it bumps there costs up and if you know some can't afford it then you need to reiterate this to your BMs as people will end up disappointed. Would it be possible to do what they have planned first and then people with less money come out clubbing with you later on or on a seperate occassion so you aren't hurting anyone's feelings? Hen dos are so complicated and you can't please everyone! x
     
    ilovepink1984, Oct 15, 2010
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  7. MrsLetts2Be

    Frogbitch

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    I was broke in the run up to the wedding, so was grateful that everyone else chipped in or I would have had to cancel.
    Having said that, my MOH asked that everyone paid £40 up front, and several people complained to her that it was too much.
     
    Frogbitch, Oct 15, 2010
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  8. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsC2Be

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    My friend had her hen weekend in february. In total, I probably spent about a hundred quid for the whole weekend, which included my room for 2 nights, a trip in the day, all my own food and drink and I chipped in for the hens room too.

    For 2 nights accommodation it was only like 30 quid, because we stayed in a hostel. There was the option for people to just do either night though, or the trip in the day time, which made it accessible for everyone :)

    I don't think you're wrong for expecting them to pay for you, that's kinda what I'd be thinking!
     
    MrsC2Be, Oct 16, 2010
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  9. MrsLetts2Be

    Helen

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    I went on my friends hen weekend to London in Sept and everyone paid for themselves including the bride to be. It was quite expensive, 1 night in a London hotel, wine tasting and a meal plus train ticket was just over £200. If she had been any less of a friend (if that makes sense?!) I wouldn't have been able to justify it. I've also got to pay for 2 nights hotel for her actual wedding (due to the time of the wedding we need to stay the night before as well), plus a taxi from the hotel to the venue and back, plus an outfit (luckily I've been to several weddings this year with different groups of friends so been able to wear it several times) plus buying her a wedding present, it all adds up. I personally would not expect to pay for the hen's accom or meal but I would pay for her drinks with meal if everyone chipped in. I would expect to pay for my own things on my hen even if it is a much smaller cheaper affair :)
     
    Helen, Oct 17, 2010
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  10. MrsLetts2Be

    MrsLetts2Be

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    Hi all,
    Thanks for your replies.
    The hen night is just ne night, they say we were going to London for few drinks and a club.
    Nothing major!
    I told them that to me it was too much money and that a lot of my friends wouldnt be able to afford that.
    were getting married in a hotel so people are already paying for their rooms.

    I've told them to keep the cost down as it means more to me to have everyone there and enjoy themself rather than people struggle xx
     
    MrsLetts2Be, Oct 18, 2010
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