Guest List! Forgotten Someone, What To Do?

Discussion in 'Planning your Wedding' started by Bethany, May 25, 2013.

  1. Bethany


    May 25, 2013
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    am getting married in 2 months! Like evryone on here emotions are high, and really looking forward to a good day.

    I am one of those brides that are having issues with the guest list. I have gone over it a dozen times and have not left anyone out, sent the invitation out 3 weeks ago. However, now I think I may have left someone out unintentionally.

    This person: she used to be a very good friend of mine, she was a house mate for a year and a half before I got engaged (how i met her). After the engagement she stopped talking to me, behaved strangely and ignored me in passing. Apparently, due to the fact that she saw me as a sister and was too upset to talk to me again because I never asked her to be a bridesmaid. When she told me this, I told her my decisions for our wedding has no reflection on our friendship - I am having a budget wedding, keeping number and costs low, but that it would mean the world if she came to the wedding. This wasn't a good enough answer for her and over the last year we've not spoken that much at all.

    Recently, she has started being very friendly with me again and has started talking about coming to the wedding. However, I have already given invites out, and I think she might be fishing for one now as other mutual friends are invited. I have asked for advice from those friends, they have said she was looking forward to going to the wedding and having a good night out with her partner. I am almost certain that if she doesn't get an invite she will never speak to me again, and I won't see her ever again.

    Shall I invite this person? I feel like a terrible bride for saying it would mean a lot for her to be there at the beginning when we were good friends - but now a lot has changed, and its been a year since then. Shall I send her an invite to keep her happy? I have thought about sending her an evening invitation.

    Also - I have now made arrangements for an after party celebration in our house, for those travelling far, however I have forgotten to send this information with the invites. Do you think its okay if i send those people a quick email/message about it? or should I send another set of formal invitations again?
    Bethany, May 25, 2013
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  2. Bethany


    May 1, 2010
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    For the after party an informal invite will be fine, although if you have made them/had them printed and can afford to post them out then I would.

    As for your other guest, do you want her at your wedding? If you do then invite her, if you don't then don't. Would you be upset if you saw her in the photos in years to come if you didn't really want her there or would you feel sad she wasn't in the photos? If you can answer those questions then you should have your answer as to whether to invite her or not.

    We had two invites get lost in the post that we didn't find out about until after the day, we didn't chase them up (they were evening invites so we didn't need numbers) and while we did feel a bit bad about it there was nothing we could do about it afterwards other than apologise to the two couples. Even if you think you have covered everyone there is bound to be something not go quite to plan!
    Helen, May 25, 2013
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  3. Bethany


    Apr 27, 2010
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    Welcome to the forums Bethany, great to have you here! :)

    Hmmm it's a tricky one... from what you've said, it doesn't sound like she has been a great friend to you. If she was upset about not being a bridesmaid then I suppose that is fair enough - if you were close friends and she was expecting to be asked then I can understand her disappointment, but to decide not to keep in touch because of it does not make her a good friend, especially after how you explained things to her (which sounded very fair to me).

    If things aren't as one-sided as they seem and you do value her friendship then invite her - some friendships are worth the effort and in time you may be really happy that you did it. Seems more like you just want to keep her happy than actually want her at your wedding though...
    Becky, May 27, 2013
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