Civil Wedding Ceremony - Help Please

Please can anyone help, as with 5 weeks to go on Monday I still have had no contact from our registrar despite 2 phone calls and being told she is very reliable!

I have no idea of the order in a civil ceremony. Can we say our own vows and the contractual words. When can readings be done, can the registrar do a reading if my other guests are all to scared!

Has anyone had their meeting with the registrar or been to or had their own ceremony recently. I have been on the internet and found nothing and our registrar's office lists nothing like thi sis their handbook but surely this is what everyone wants to know.

They seem to offer meetings as if they have to but do not want to - if that makes sense but then constantly chase me for my payment.

This is not a good omen and panic is now setting in as are the nightmares and cold sweats!

Any help much appreciated xx

 

Hi, We had a meeting with our registrar but got told we needed to do this when we booked, we had to tell him what readings we were having etc, however my friend just had to send details to her registar. We got given a pack which said what we needed to do and when.

I would ring up and ask for an appoitment to see her, say you want to discuss the arrnagements and pay whilst you are there!

 

We got a pack from our registars with the dos and don'ts and we just had to email them to let them know what he wanted. I've never had a meeting with them. I don't know whether it changes from district to district though. I'd definitely ring them up and find out what they need you to do. I hope you get it sorted.

 

With little time to go I would suggest a visit to their office would be worthwhile. You can then arrange a meeting if required and pay at the same time. They can't fob you off if you are there

 

As for the questions you asked, yes a regisrar can do the readings for you if required - you are paying them, they are paid to legally marry you but alo to 'facilitate' the service which includes readings.

You can say your own words as well as or instead of the contractual words provided they are within the legal terminology scope for marriage.

Sorry you're getting worried, I am sure it'll be fine. A registrar is just a civil servant that gets paid lots of money to speak in public and sign things basically

Good luck!


The terminology used I have found for you from weddingguide.uk and copied below:
Statutory Declaratory and Contracting Words
All civil marriage ceremonies and religious ceremonies other than Church of England, Jewish or Quaker, must incorporate statutory declaratory and contracting statements, to be said by both of you, for your marriage to be lawful. The registrar will usually suggest that the following traditional statements are used:

Declaratory Words
I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful
impediment why I, [your full name], may not be
joined in matrimony to [your partner's full name].

Contracting Words
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I,
[your full name], do take thee, [your partner's full name],
to be my lawful wedded wife [or husband].

However, since February 1997, you may choose to use either of the following alternative declaratory and contracting words:

Alternative Declaratory Words
I declare that I know of no legal reason
why I, [your full name], may not be joined
in marriage to [your partner's full name].
or
by replying 'I am' to the question
'Are you, [your full name], free lawfully
to marry [your partner's full name]'.

Alternative Contracting Words
I, [your full name], take you, [your partner's full name],
to be my wedded wife [or husband].
or
I, [your full name], take thee, [your partner's full name],
to be my wedded wife [or husband].

When giving notice of your marriage, you will be able to discuss your choice of declaratory and contracting words with the superintendent registrar or your religious celebrant. Generally, if you do not mention this matter, the traditional statements will be used.

 

It differs depending on districts - we gave notice in the district we live and if we had been getting married there we would've had a meeting however the district we are marrying in you don't meet with the registrar but can meet with the team if you want (although they seemed reluctant when I tried this) we did get sent a pack which list the order of the day and all our wording choices etc and just have to send that off to them 6 weeks before the wedding with payment. Although I sent our music and readings a few weeks ago (about 10 months in advance!).

I agree with Popple and say turn up at the office so that you can pin them down and get things sorted and start to enjoy the run up to your big day, good luck and let us know what happens xx

 

I will find our pack out. They're are multiple choices for each part of the service and the option for your own vows during the exchanging of the rings. Our registrar was more than happy to say these for us. Like I said I will find our pack out and give you more details. Please don't worry though, it honestly will be fine on the day. x

 

Thank you all for your help. I am feeling a bit better now. I will contact them again on Monday and take all the information you have given me.

I had a really lovely brochure but nothing about the actual ceremony!

I can't belive how stressed I am about everything.

Thanks again x x

 

Don't fret, the stress is a good sign. It means you care Wedding stress must seem so strange after the event!

 

It really does Pops! x

 

We did get to see the registrar after all and I was so pleased - the lady was so lovely.

She has her own little readings and words of wisdom to add to the ceremony and will do a reading for us as only Aidan (my 11 year old) stepped up.

The only thing was I was getting so emotional just listening to her go through the order of the day and we have quite a lot to repeat so i am terrified of blubbing.

I am so emotional it is ridiculous - I am not a young bride and it is second time round but it means so much to marry my H2B.

Anyone else worried about crying or has anyone else felt like this but not cried on the day?

One month today and I will be married - I am just so excited - I cannot wait to be married.

 

I was worried that I'd cry but I didn't get at all emotional until I did an impromptu speech at the lunch afterwards, whereby I bawled at everything!

 

I have a feeling i will probably cry, but I'm not worried about it. My mascara is waterproof and I've got a frilly handkerchief on stand by. It may be over the top but I've run out of things to plan now and am actively trying to find things to do! xx

 

I'm pretty certain I'm gonna blub my eyes out on the day. Although its so bloody far away I'll probably be bored sick of the whole thing lol

 

I was getting to that point, think I kinda burnt out with all my previous excitement - but then OH started to get a little excited and then we decided to have a proper photographer and once we met with a couple he started to get excited and the photographer was excited and now I am all over again! In fairness to OH he has done it all before and I have been up a height since 2yr before, but his enthusiasm is coming through now.