Bridesmaid Dramas

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by Rosa Vickers, Jul 3, 2017.

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Should I challenge my bridesmaid regarding her behaviour as a bridesmaid?

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  1. Rosa Vickers

    Rosa Vickers

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    Hello,

    I was just wondering what the etiquette was on the bride (me) requesting the bridesmaids to have a similar hairstyle on the day?

    My mum is a hairdresser and we also have a stylist coming in on the day which I have paid for.

    I sent a photo of the style I liked a few months back and understood that each bridesmaid has different hair types - for example long, curly, bleached etc so happy for all the bridesmaids to have a variation of the the style. (The style is half up, half down with curls. My MOH is having a twist at the back, one bridesmaid is having her fringe out and just clips at the back etc). But as long as from the front the two 'strands' are clipped back to show a look of unity and continuity. I've also brought them all hair accessories for this style too and this was agreed on about 5-6 weeks back.

    So, I put a message on the bridesmaid chat regarding them bringing some Kirby grips on the day and one of my bridesmaids replied that she has had her hair shorter than it was previously (from just above her collar bone to ear lobe length) and up right refuses to do the hairstyle not because it won't work but because she doesn't like the way it looks. I've been nothing but polite, understanding and patient but I'm receiving fertility treatment at the moment and this stress isn't helping me. She's also been quite blunt to me in the chats and made me feel a bit of a nuisance and unworthy as if all my choices are wrong because that's not what she did for her wedding.

    Additionally, This has actually angered the other bridesmaids and has caused tension, and although they're being so adult and graceful about it, I can tell it's caused a 'them vs. Her' situation because this isn't the only thing she has made awkward (For example, we've agreed for months to meet at 9am the morning of the wedding day and I brought personalised getting ready gowns, slippers and PJS and arranged the photographer to come to get some shots etc but she told me (note, not ask which hurt a little) that she will now be coming at just after midday and she will arrive ready. There was also a disagreement between the bridesmaids and her because she wanted her husband in the 'get ready room' which I politely declined. And lastly I've caught wind that she started a hurtful argument with my MOH when she made the final call on the hen do plans - that is the MOH's role after all- and most recently wanted to wear her own white, lace wedding shoes with a large heel instead of the selected lilac, kitten heel, open toe bridesmaid shoes selected etc etc!).

    I'm really upset at the way she is behaving as a bridesmaid and I feel heartbroken that a good friend of mine is making so much drama and hurting those I love so much. My Fiancé is livid at her and says she's acting so childish and selfishly. I feel as if I don't know the woman she is behaving like. One of my more placid bridesmaids said she was so upset by her actions and texts towards me she sent her a private message to ask her to think about how her actions are making me feel. I don't know how the conversation went.

    What would be your suggestion regarding the hair? Would you just let her do which ever style she'd like and not look like the other bridesmaids? Or, would you put your foot down a little and ask her to follow a variation of the style picked? I never want to seem like a bridezilla and want to think about everyone's feelings not only as my bridesmaids but my friends too.

    Thank you for listening and apologies that this has turned into a bit of a rant! Its just become "The (bridesmaids name) show".
     
    Rosa Vickers, Jul 3, 2017
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  2. Rosa Vickers

    grant67

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    I once knew a bride that 'sacked' her maid of honour for not agreeing with her!!! lets hope you arent going down that road, its just a hair cut!
     
    grant67, Aug 23, 2017
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  3. Rosa Vickers

    Scottish Mernymph

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    Yikes....just makes me thankful for not having anyone to organise other than myself. Good luck with it & I hope it can all be sorted out in an amicable fashion.
     
    Scottish Mernymph, Oct 24, 2018
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