Anyone's H2B Away Alot And Feeling Alone In All The Decisions?

Discussion in 'Emotional Support' started by alfamillie, Jun 19, 2011.

  1. alfamillie

    alfamillie

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    West London
    Hi - so it's Sunday evening and I've just dropped H2B at the airport for another week working away (in Italy). Usually when he's away I just go into girl mode and catch up with my friends, go to the gym, watch "Don't Tell the Bride" etc etc but right now there are so many things I want input on for the wedding I am feeling really alone in the planning. He was home this weekend but I felt like I didn't want to bombard him with questions and when I did he said "I don't mind" which kind of upset me after all the time during the week I've put into trying things out and coming up with options (for invites and table plan etc) I know a) he's tired from working silly hours and :) because he's so laid back generally he really doesn't mind in a good way ie he will love anything I do and I can't wait to see his face on the day. Don't get me wrong, he is doing his bits too - organising the celebrant's travel and accommodation in France, the funny little wedding car ( a Fiat 500!) and the barbie the day after, but I was so excited after trying on my dress for the first time yesterday and wanted him to get really excited too. I guess it will come but for now I just had to let off steam!! Oh, and I reeeeaaaallly miss him being around and being my friend ;) OK - back to cooking myself a nice roast chicken and watching trash TV! x
     
    alfamillie, Jun 19, 2011
    #1
    1. Advertisements

  2. alfamillie

    MrsC2Be

    Joined:
    May 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,171
    Likes Received:
    98
    Location:
    Lymm, Cheshire
    hmmm it must be pretty hard spending so much time apart at the best of times, but when you've got stuff to organise it must be worse. I'm sure he'll appreciate everything you're doing to make your wedding gorgeous and special. I've found that men don't tend to get excited about things the same way we do - I know Neil is one for saying "whichever you like is fine" because he wants me to have what I'd like, but sometimes it can come across like not caring, which it isn't! Frustrating, but I think it's a man thing ;)

    Fiat 500's are totally cool, great idea for a wedding car!
     
    MrsC2Be, Jun 19, 2011
    #2
    1. Advertisements

  3. alfamillie

    MrsBrown

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,402
    Likes Received:
    64
    Hiya,

    I can only give you reassurance from my expereince! In the run up to my wedding, H2b used to drive me mad! He didnt want to talk about the wedding all the time (why not I wil never understand ha ha!!) I used to feel like I had to book time to talk to him about it and then he'd go, so were all sorted then, when in my head we were far from it! I agree with MrsC2b they dont seem to have the same feelings about weddings!

    All I can say is that on the day, hubbie said I had done an amazing job with everything and how wonderful the room looked, he appreciated all the little things and in his speech he thanked me for organising all this whilst he dug the garden (that was also his excuse for not writing his speech until the morning of the wedding!) By then I didnt really care, I was just happy to be married to my hubbie and my best friend!

    I cant imagine how it must be being apart from H2b but hope your feeling a bit happier today, 1 day down he will be home before you know it!
     
    MrsBrown, Jun 20, 2011
    #3
  4. alfamillie

    alfamillie

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    West London
    Thanks girls! I know I'm being a bit pathetic 'cos there are forces B2Bs out there who arrange everything while their OHs are away for 6 months. So I will just take your advice, not worry about the lack of excitement and surprise him with the bits I've had no input on. I know once his family and friends start arriving from NZ and Oz in September he will be glad it's organised to perfection ;-) . OK - here's to a productive, creative, decisive week!
     
    alfamillie, Jun 20, 2011
    #4
  5. alfamillie

    Helen

    Joined:
    May 1, 2010
    Messages:
    1,744
    Likes Received:
    70
    Location:
    Powys
    I worked away in the week for over two years so I know how you feel! (Plus before that I was a forces 'wife' for nearly 9 years so I can see it from both sides, going away and being left behind!)

    It is hard while they are away but hang on in there and it is worth it in the end. How long is he going to be working away for? I found it was easier if you know there is a date or month to look forward to, even if it seems an eternity away counting down seemed to help.

    As for the wedding planning, I have done the vast majority myself. My oh works 7 days a week and much longer hours than usual (he is a dairy farmer, those cows are demanding!) and it has been really hard trying to find time to make decisions about the wedding. I semi decided on everything and then asked him what he thought, he is also one of those people who can't visulise what something will look like and so I also made up a lot of prototypes for him to see and give his opinion on. That way I was occupied with my prototypes and he could see what the finished thing might look like without having to think about it too much!

    One thing to remember, a lot of grooms may not be excited by all the little details of the wedding, but they are excited about getting married. :(
     
    Helen, Jun 20, 2011
    #5
  6. alfamillie

    Becky

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2010
    Messages:
    2,858
    Likes Received:
    83
    To be honest, I think it's a completely normal reaction!! :(

    I remember reading an article written by a chap about his view on getting married. He said that for him the big thing was realising he wanted to marry his girlfriend, figuring out how to pop the question, and then building up the courage to do it. Once she'd said yes, the next thing he was looking forward to was just getting married...

    ... I guess my point is the same as Helen's - although he may not appear to be that interested, he's interested in the bit that counts. All the rest is just frills and fluff that us women tend to fuss about but men are oblivious to!

    :D
     
    Becky, Jun 20, 2011
    #6
  7. alfamillie

    MrsBrown

    Joined:
    May 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,402
    Likes Received:
    64
    You are def not pathetic for missing your H2b! We might be more worried if you said you were glad he wasnt coming home for a couple of weeks ha ha!
     
    MrsBrown, Jun 20, 2011
    #7
  8. alfamillie

    SeptemberBride

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Kent
    I know the feeling!! My H2B is a lorry driver and is away from home from Sunday night throught to Thursday night and it is horrible. He has been doing it for a while but I dont think I will ever get used to it. And when he is home he is tired due to long days so the last thing he needs is me jibbering on about table centres and wedding favours. Its hard to look forward to the wedding when you miss them isnt it xx

     
    SeptemberBride, Jun 22, 2011
    #8
  9. alfamillie

    alfamillie

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2011
    Messages:
    57
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    West London
    Ha ha - yes I guess it would be more worrying if I was glad he was away. you're right. I feel for you September Bride - at least mine shouldn't be doing this for too long. He's an engineer and got asked to spend a few weeks at Ferrari so at least he's having a bit of fun as well as working long hours.. Have asked him to bring a car back for the wedding :) but I think I still prefer the funky little Cinquecento!
     
    alfamillie, Jun 24, 2011
    #9
    SeptemberBride likes this.
    1. Advertisements

Ask a Question

Want to reply to this thread or ask your own question?

You'll need to choose a username for the site, which only take a couple of moments (here). After that, you can post your question and our members will help you out.