Anyone For A Micro Wedding?

Discussion in 'Planning your Wedding' started by poppleminster, May 8, 2011.

  1. poppleminster

    poppleminster

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    My wedding has always been planned to be small but in recent weeks i've been thinking about making it even smaller.

    Pros:
    Less to organise
    Spending more money on lovely stuff for less people
    Getting to do stuff I can't afford to otherwise (like the vintage bus transport)
    Less formalities and more chilling
    No embarrassing moments at trying to remember people's partners names
    Awesome food due to a lower number to feed meaning I can do exactly what I want within budget
    Ben's nan would be able to come - she's 90 this year and frail
    I might be able to afford a honeymoon whereas at present I can't

    Cons
    People getting offended at not being invited
    I am going to be huge so wont be able to wear my dress I had planned but could have one made or possibly mine customised
    Less toasters / fondue sets / Crystal glasses
    People thinking it is a shotgun wedding (I am pregnant but had planned the wedding long before the pregnancy!)
    ???

    I am thinking nwe could get married, keep the date secret from all but those invited (I am thinking about 12 people max) and telling people afterwards that it was just family and our closest friends. We could have a social evening / party later for everyone else, if they are still talking to us!

    I've already offended people by saying that if I do not know or have ever met their partner / children then they are not invited. I want to spend my money on people I know and love not those I will never see again. This is kind of one step closer... I'm torn between doing it and really going to town on the stuff I want to do or compromising, having more people and not doing as I want as much. All my friends live over 250 miles away from here so are hardly going to be too disappointed at not having to travel miles.

    I'd like to hope people would understand and be happy for us, is this too much to expect? I am thinking that if they couldn't be happy for us then they maybe aren't the friends I thought they were anyway. People keep expecting me to have a bar and stuff that I just wont do, we don't drink much and are having ginger beer and local scrumpy for a toast! We don't care about the formalities of line ups and speeches and stuff, we just want to celebrate being married and not stress for the day.

    So... to micro or not to micro?
     
    poppleminster, May 8, 2011
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  2. poppleminster

    poppleminster

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    Rather than the bar, I had thought of asking people to bring their own booze saying it was to avoid bar charges. If I go micro, it's not an issue as none of the family or our close friends mind bringing their own in the slightest. I could even do the reception in our new back garden which is lovely.
     
    poppleminster, May 8, 2011
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  3. poppleminster

    MrsBoucher2B2012

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    if it is what you want then go for it plus if you had a party later on for those you dont invite you get to wear your dress again
     
    MrsBoucher2B2012, May 8, 2011
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  4. poppleminster

    MrsC2Be

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    Ask yourself the question and go with your first answer on gut instinct.

    I'm having strops on inviting people (extended family mostly) that don't speak to us and we don't see. Why should I pay for a big expensive dinner for those who don't care anyway.

    Your true friends would completely understand and would just be happy for you anyway. If you were getting married abroad people wouldn't question your decision to have a small select group. And small wedding with a separate "party" afterwards is an extra excuse for festivities :D
     
    MrsC2Be, May 8, 2011
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  5. poppleminster

    MrsBrown

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    I guess the question to ask yourself is, will you look back in a year and say I wish had done it different? If not then go for it!!

    I used to work with someone who had an even smaller micro wedding (4 guests and no wedding dress!) but then they had a party for everyone after. They hired a hall, she ordered curry frpm a local takeaway and a friends band played. it wasnt what i wanted but they loved it and are not now paying back things they couldnt afford!.

    At least with a micro wedding, you dont risk the danger of offending one friend becuase you invited a different one (if you get what I mean!)

    True friends will understand your reasoning and will be pleased for you and a get together to celebrate your wedding afterwards will be a compromise without the cost! You could put aside money to buy a few bottles of bubbly for everyone at the get together so they get a nice treat without you having to pay the whole bar bill!!

    On the other hand.........

    Will you look back in a year and have regrets. I know you have struggled with finding a date/ venue so is this because you really want to get married and dont want to wait? (I can understand that though!) But will you look back and wished you had done it differently?

    Plus what does your other half think?

    Good luck deciding and hope you and bump are ok.
     
    MrsBrown, May 8, 2011
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  6. poppleminster

    MrsMay2011

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    Yeah, I agree you should go with your heart, I I think from the vibes your post is giving off that's the smaller one..? If I were going to be offended about not being invited to a friends wedding, then I found out there were only 12guests I'd then actually completely understand that's if it's that small only really close friends and family and be fine with it! There will always be someone deluded who presumes they are important enough to come even though they only see you once a year, but you get that with any size wedding.

    I have to say MrsBrown has a good point about not throwing the baby out w the bathwater, you don't want to look up and realise someone really impt is missing, or regret having it so small, because you're understandably fed up with postponing it? However what you've described sounds lovely in my opinion. I can almost taste the lashings of Ginger beer!

    I totally understand what you mean about having to compromise less for fewer people. With only 23guests we can afford a fancy meal and an open bar. If we'd extended it to more than our immediate family and a few v close friends each we wouldn't have had any option but to make vast compromises in the food/venue that we wanted.

    X
     
    MrsMay2011, May 9, 2011
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  7. poppleminster

    poppleminster

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    After talking to Ben, he is liking the idea too. He hates his photo being taken and being centre of attention so smaller but with people we are really comfy with is growing on us.

    I can't think of regretting it in a years time but part of me thinks i'm selling out! Some things we need more people for - like our cheesecake! Ah well, maybe we could just eat ourselves into a cheese-induced coma! I'm sure we can find small cheeses to use and make it ourselves rather than spend over a hundred on a ready made one.

    We can dance and be silly in front of just our closest friends, it'd be even more like an Enid Blyton high tea then.

    Part of me longs to decorate the hall, do all the place settings and favours and girlie stuff. Part of me just wants to chill out.

    We still have no date and i'm now beginning to despair of ever sorting this out. It'll be worth it in the end but I really can't enjoy it art the moment without knowing what i'm doing. I'll give it until the weekend and see how we feel then before deciding.

    Thanks muchly xxxxxx
     
    poppleminster, May 9, 2011
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  8. poppleminster

    haydee9

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    your wedding is your special day and whats important is you celebrate it the way you want it and you enjoy that day. there may be people who will get offended but it will only be temporary.
     
    haydee9, May 10, 2011
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  9. poppleminster

    Becky

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    I think it's a great idea! You seem to be inclined towards the smaller wedding, and if that's what your gut feeling is telling you then go for it!!

    I really thought I'd be sad once our wedding day was over, but in fact I wasn't at all. I was more excited that I was now in a marriage, and it's amazing to think about the future and where life will take us next. That's what it's all about after all - the marriage not the wedding day. If you find that you still want a big party afterwards, then what about a 1st anniversary party with everyone?

    To be honest, I had been a very chilled bride-to-be, right up until 2 days before the wedding when I suddenly felt really stressed out by it all. Definitely worth avoiding that feeling if you can!!
     
    Becky, May 11, 2011
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  10. poppleminster

    Helen

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    I like the idea of an anniversary party for everyone you wouldn't invite for the actual wedding.

    We had 3 guests at our wedding. For our reception which is at the end of June (about 6 weeks after the wedding) we are having over 200 eek so we have done a bit of both and so far it is working out well ;)
     
    Helen, May 19, 2011
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