9 replies to this topic

[MrsNaylorToBe]

Hi Everyone,

I'm new to bigday.com and this is my first New Topic!

Getting married in August this year and our current dilemma is suit etiquette, the problem being that Rob wants to wear a contemporary suit e.g http://www.next.co.uk/x49434s4 rather than hiring traditional wedding garb

My concern is that the suits are about £110 each and with him having two best men, two brothers as ushers, his dad, my dad and step-dad and potentially my two brothers (I'd like the blokes in my family to be in the same suits as well) this would obviously be super-expensive for us to fund! I've spoken to a couple of people who say that traditionally we should pay for the bridesmaid dresses (which we've done) and that the men pay for their own suits. Is this right? Also I'm not sure its fair to expect them to pay £110 each, would it be acceptable for us to make a contribution and if so what is the average kind of price for suit rental that someone would pay so we could pay the extra and not feel guilty!

Any advice would be much appreciated!

x

[MrsBrown]

We paid for the bridesmaid dresses, but they bought their own accessories. The cost does add up.

We only had hubbie, best man and dads and they all wore same suit and we paid. But the two dads had already given us some money so it sorta came out of that.

Just one thought, will the dads be happy wearing such a contemporary suit (which is very stylish.. I can see why he likes it) obviously I don't know your dads, but my dad and father in law were both in the 60's and though not fuddy duddys they wouldn't wear a modern suit. Maybe you should discuss it with them, see what they feel. I think offering to pay towards them is perfectly acceptable and if they get to keep the suit too, they can wear them again and if they all like it great.

We hired our suits and can't remember how much it cost sorry. I think becky's family all wore different but from what I remember modern suits, you should dig out her photos on here and have a look. Oh and her dress is amazing so worth a nosy too.

Keep us posted!

[iPrincess26]

Hey we only have the groom, best man and 2 dads too suit wise we have bought a suit for the OH as we have a wedding to go to this year as well and with the waistcoat, shirt, cravat etc it will look like a different suit on our wedding day, as for the other 3 they are being asked to provide their own black suit and again we will sort shirts, waistcoats and cravats and hankies. That way they all have a suit they are comfortable in but do still match accessory wise. I think suit hire tends to start at about £70 per person and just go up depending on what you choose.

[Helen]

We had mismatched suits as the guys wore what they owned but I think if you contribute towards buying the suits it is ok to ask them to pay the remainder, after all they do get to keep them and can either wear them again or ebay them if they wanted to. This does depend a bit on their individual financial situations, weddings are expensive for guests as well at the hosts and you don't want to pressure people into spending money they might not have.

I agree with Mrs Brown about the Dads, my Dad I struggled to get to wear a tie in the colour I wanted and there is no way I would have been able to choose his suit! But he is a difficult little chap (stubborn! Then he wonders where I get it from lol).

[Becky]

I think it depends on the type of photos you are going for...

Formal group shots do tend to look better with everyone in matching suits. It would be expensive for you to buy them for all the men, so I can understand you wanting to look down the contribution route. Do you think they would be ok with that? Alternatively you could just ask them to wear their own suit and do what iPrincess suggests and have matching accessories, which I think would also look great.

If you are having more informal photos, then I don't think it matters at all whether they are in matching suits. My husband wanted to wear a modern suit, and no one matched! All the men wore the same button holes (apart from Ian's which was slightly different) which tied them all together. I had both my Dad and Step-Dad walk me down the aisle, and they were dressed completely differently (but matched the colours overall).

So I guess my answer is... it depends what look you are after!

Here are some photos of the boys from my wedding:

Me and my dads:


Ian in his suit:


The boys:


An informal group shot:

[MrsMay2011]

It is tricky to ask people to buy a particular suit if they are to pay for it. Could you put the groom and best man in matching and maybe get the others to perhaps wear a suit of their choice in the same colour, and provide them with matching accessories, ties/buttonholes maybe waistcoats etc?

We did that and asked the other important male guests to wear grey suits. I then found out my brother and his GF were fretting about this, as he'd recently bought a nice navy suit, (and they'd just bought a house together and weren't that flush at that moment in time) so once I found out it was causing them stress changed the suit colour stipulation to grey or navy I can't say I noticed at all on the pics that the men had different suits on, but my wedding wasn't hugely formal (but not informal either!).

[MrsNaylorToBe]

Hi everyone!

Sorry for being so slow at responding, been away for a few days. Thanks for all the advice, I do feel better about asking for contributions and Becky your photos are absolutely gorgeous, I really hadn't even thought of non-matching suits - we're having a church ceremony and the reception at a very modern hotel so difficult to find the balance between traditional and modern to suit both parts of the day. Helen and Mrs Brown, already experiencing dads' reluctance to wear a very modern suit and suppose its the same as trying to find a bridesmaid dress to suit everyone i.e. its impossible!

Its so difficult to know the right thing to do, agree that weddings are expensive for guests as well and completely don't want to pressure people into paying for a suit they never intended to buy so also think the idea of providing the waistcoats and cravats could be an option.

Thanks guys I'll have another think!

xx

[Becky]

You could always go down the Frogbitch route - she had ushers dressed as Stormtroopers!! It all looked amazing

Hope you manage to come to a decision, let us know if we can help

[elliekitty]

We are hiring our suits and having everyone matching, bar different color to the grooms button hole. We are only paying for the best mans suit as our familey have offered to pay for theres. x

[Sarsaparilla]

Plenty of people as bridesmaids to buy their own dresses so I don't see why you can't ask the same of the ushers etc for suits