19 replies to this topic

[poppleminster]

Now i'm all booked in, I got a bit of a shock. Other than the two lines we are required to say by law, we are to organise the rest ourselves. I always assumed there was a pattern they follow. oops. So, given that we are so not the shakespearean or fluffy type, what on earth do i fill the time with. I hadn't expected to need to do stuff.

[MrsC2Be]

Each write your own vows? They don't have to be soppy and stuff, ours won't be. More along the lines of "I won't ever play badminton with anyone else ever again and I'll always let you share the last jam doughnut" I reckon.

[poppleminster]

Never will jam donut sharing happen. I may love him but please, there are limits. Xxx

[MrsBrown]

Really????

I am amazed how different they are!!

We could have written our own, but were given a choice of services to choose from. One traditonal, one a bit more modern. Then the registar padded it out a little, and my friend did a reading.

I will try to dig out what was said and try to scan it for you

[SeptemberBride]

Thats so odd, we got sent a book which goes through the whole ceremony, we then had to choose one of 3 options for each bit that wasnt set. Did you want me to scan the pages and email to you so you get an idea? x

[Becky]

We got a pack too - it gave you all the options to choose from and showed the order of the ceremony. It didn't include vows though. Let me know if you want a copy!

[SeptemberBride]

This post has also reminded me I need to send my booklet back to the venue.........so thanks popplemister............you may have just saved my wedding day xx

[poppleminster]

Thanks everyone. I have a piece of paper with the lines we have to say by law and a letter telling us to make an appointment when we decide on what we are doing for the ceremony otherwise it will just be those lines. I'm quite freaked out as I have no idea what we'll do.

[alfamillie]

Hi all, we've written our own ceremony using guidance online but I'd be interested to see the advice you were sent if anyone could make it available by email please?
The vows bit was funny because after specifically choosing not to have a traditional church service my OH kept wanting to use the oldy worldy language and it still contains a few "thee"s! Other than that we have a song, One More Step along the World I go", 2 readings, including the Apache Marriage Blessing which is non-religious, and of course some music Elbow "One Day like This" and Bic Runga "When I see you Smile" . I hope when we add the bits the celebrant is going to say that it lasts about half an hour.. But if it's over in ten mins it just means more time for photos!

[MrsStobe813]

Really? What's the requirement? or does it change according to city? We don't want to say "for richer, for poorer" because richer is something we'll never be. We want to say "for poorer and bankrupt"! because we've been in a pitch black room on a winters evening with nothing more than a gas stove and 4 rich teas...and lived!

MrsStobe813 x

alfamillie, on 11 August 2011 - 09:25 AM, said:

Hi all, we've written our own ceremony using guidance online but I'd be interested to see the advice you were sent if anyone could make it available by email please?
The vows bit was funny because after specifically choosing not to have a traditional church service my OH kept wanting to use the oldy worldy language and it still contains a few "thee"s! Other than that we have a song, One More Step along the World I go", 2 readings, including the Apache Marriage Blessing which is non-religious, and of course some music Elbow "One Day like This" and Bic Runga "When I see you Smile" . I hope when we add the bits the celebrant is going to say that it lasts about half an hour.. But if it's over in ten mins it just means more time for photos!

[MrsBrown]

There are certain words that legally you have to say but not sure which bits! You registrar will be able to help though.

[MrsStobe813]

That'll upset MAtt- he wanted to hide behind a book! lol

[Becky]

I've taken a look at my 'Marriage Profile Booklet', and here is the typical structure (the bits in bold must be included, the rest is flexible):


Bride - Entrance of bridal party

Registrar - Introduction and welcome. Readin by Registrar or guest (optional)

Registrar - Confirmation of bride & groom's names and legal definition of marriage.

Bride & Groom - First legal declaration (confirmation that they are free to marry each other)

Registrar - General statement regarding love and marriage. Collection of bride's flowers.

Bride & Groom - Special promises to each other (these may be written by the bride & groom)

Bride & Groom - Consent to marriage. Reading by registrar ot guest (optional)

Bride & Groom - Second legal declaration (bride and groom formally agree to take each other as husband and wife)

Bride & Groom - Exchange of wedding rings

Registrar - Couple declared husband and wife. Signing of the marriage register. Photos

Registrar - Conclusion of ceremony. Exit of Bride & Groom



The registrar should be able to provide you with vows if you want, or you could write your own. I'm not sure why they are saying the rest is up to you - it usually follows a set format, albeit there is flexibility.

Hope this helps!

[Becky]

Our ceremony was about 20 mins, and that included one reading and music during the signing of the register. Short and sweet

[poppleminster]

THANK YOU!!!!! I was panicking, I called them this morning for more advice and got told they are only providing the legal stuff and the format of the ceremony is up to us to come up with and meet them a month before the wedding to check it's ok with the registrar! So unhelpful.

Seeing it written like you have makes it all seem simple but I was really panicking. Stupid annoying people! as if us brides don't have enough to stress over!